Just some thoughts...

Last night JR took Grace to the ER, at the recommendation of her doctor. She has had an unbreakable fever and considering that she just had a porta-catheter placed in her chest, the risk of infection is worrisome. She started antibiotics and was, thankfully, able to return home. But, this made us reflect-something we've been doing our fair share of lately. When will the worry ever subside? When will some sense of normalcy exist? When will we ever feel as though we can let our guard down? I think we're resigned to the fact that the only thing that will be reliable about this next 2 and a half years is that they will be unreliable. It is hard. It is hard to realize that we have absolutely no control over the situation, but what is even harder is to see how she suffers. Please don't misconstrue our intent. We have nothing but gratitude for all that has been done on our behalf, and most certainly we feel thankful that Grace is in remission. But, I don't think we ever knew what remission would look like. At least, at this point in her treatment. We can't begin to describe what it is to see our typically enthusiastic, spunky and wise little girl laying in bed for hours on end without the will, drive, or desire to do anything but sit. We didn't know the words "please mom and dad, please make it not hurt" could feel so entirely devastating. Or, how painful it is to comb through her hair tonight and pull out a fistful of hair. Or, to stare at the horrible rash all over her head and skin. Looking at her bruised and exhausted body makes us feel so helpless, even though we know that the circumstances could be so much worse-they still feel bad enough. We are trying to remain positive and to create a joyful atmosphere for the kids to feel less worry or pain. We know that in the end, we will grow stronger-that this is just the refiner's fire. So, please forgive our emotional overflow. Just a little ranting and raving to ease the excess in our heads...

Baby E is feeling a little left out of the blog...

.... HERE ARE SOME RECENT IMAGES AND VIDS OF THE CUTE LITTLE DEVIL

Post Surgery

Sorry for the short entry, but we are wiped out tonight. Grace did amazing today. She went in at 7am had her PICC line removed, had a PORT surgically inserted, had a spinal tap where Chemo was placed into her spinal column, and had a different type of Chemo intravenously. She was tired when we finally got out of there around 3pm, but still managed to make it to T's awesome soccer game and then eat an entire Fillet Mignon with Shrimp courtesy of Grandma Shele and Uncle Nick. She has a week break before the next spinal tap.

Happy 10th Birthday Tanner!!!!

It is hard to believe that ten years have already come and gone, but we're thankful for every second we've been Tanner's parents! He is so much fun to raise and we feel blessed to have his angelic spirit in our home! So, Tanner-we hope you had the best 10th birthday because you deserve it! Ten reasons we love Tanner are:
1. Tanner is mature far, far beyond his years and he has a very wise nature.
2. He tries to make sure everyone feels happy, comfortable, and appreciated.
3. Tanner is hilarious and can make anyone laugh with his great sense of humor, silly faces, or scenarios he comes up with.
4. Tanner is compassionate. He truly cares about people's feelings, but it goes beyond that. He wants to make life better for everybody.
5. He is brave! He can get up and perform in a talent show, start a new school with courage, or conquer any scenario that would scare us half to death!
6. Tanner LOVES figurines, especially Star Wars or army figurines and we always hear funny little scenarios and scenes being reenacted from downstairs! We especially love the sounds of battle cries!
7. Tanner is a voracious reader, which I LOVE! He just devours books-even if their hundreds of pages! We used to visit the library weekle, and he would pick out several chapter books, but he would finish one or two by the end of the night. I think this is where he gets his wonderful imagination.
8. Tanner is a great athlete. He loves sports and is constantly moving. It's so fun to see him practicing his soccer, basketball, or baseball. He just loves playing them, and when he's standing around, or just chatting with you-he is practice hitting the baseball! I'm not even sure if he realizes he's doing it-he just loves it!
9. Tanner is truly kind. He has the kindest nature we have ever seen. He is also trusting and has great faith in God. We admire his faith.
10. Tanner is talented-from school, to sports, to singing, to creating, to just being him-he's so much fun to watch because he tries so hard at all he does.
11. (one to grow on) Tanner is joyful! He has an irrepressible joy, and although he can be quite serious, he really is a happy kid. It makes our home a wonderful place to be because he's always giggling and happy! We LOVE you T Man! Thanks for being ours!

Jumping for joy on his new trampoline!

So cute!!!

Could they be any cuter? Grandma Shele and Grandpa Glen arrived yesterday and brought with them lots of smiles, optimism...and even their team shirts! Grace, Tanner and Eva are thrilled, and Glen and Shele have really perked up their spirits! Glen and Shele also worked so hard putting in new sod and surprised Tanner with a new trampoline for his birthday! The kids couldn't be more excited about the gift-it even got Grace jumping for joy-as you can see here! Most importantly, they've spent so much time with the kids and the kids are relishing every second!