EVA IS 3 TODAY!

Eva had a great birthday. She got to stay in her swimsuit almost the entire time while she swam, played in the hose and slide on the slip-n-slide. She loved having her Grandma and Aunt celebrating with her.

Eva is so fun to watch at Ballet class. She usually is vey shy especially around other adults, but as soon as her teacher says it is time to start she lights up and loves it. In fact, during her class she helps out the other girls with their form. Although she is the youngest I am sure she feels like it is her duty to correct ballerinas who have their form wrong.

Pictures of our long weekend in the hospital as promised.

GRACE IS HOME!

She is still feeling crummy, and really tired, but the important thing is that she is home.

Independance Day

What a memorable 4th we had. Grace is still in the hospital although signs are looking like we could be out sooner than later. She has been feeling pretty crummy and her energy is very low. 

Kim and my mom, completely separately, but during the same time, both came up with the idea that it would be a special night if we could get Gracie out of her room and somewhere in this hospital that looks over the city during the fireworks. After a lot of thoughtful hard work and planning we set up a "picnic" in one of the lounge areas overlooking the valley. We had great food and even better company and our kids got to forget about the hospital, about the stress, and about cancer for a couple of hours and just eat, play , and watch fireworks. It was a good break for all of us and we really needed it.  I will post pictures when I return home but just imagine a table with a table cloth decorated with stars and stripes, full of food , a half-circle of chairs, games, and laughter as our kids danced, compared firework sightings and ate.

We hope to be getting out soon and will update when we know more. Thank you for all the thoughts and prayers, we have needed some support. Hopefully , Grace will be out tomorrow so we can celebrate Eva's 3rd birthday as a family. 

Listening...

All night I listened to Grace whimper in her hospital bed.  She's having nightmares.  She usually does in the hospital.  I climbed into bed by her to just feel her near me and let her know she isn't alone.  I listened to her heavy breathing-wheezy and choppy and watched her pulse race on the side of her neck.  I stroked her hair and listened...I heard a baby in the next room screaming.  That baby sounded very little.  Tanner can't stand when he knows there are babies with Cancer.  Can't blame him.

Last night we made it to the Broadway Lion King...AMAZING.   I really wanted to listen to the sound of Gracie's laughter next to me.  Her little body couldn't keep up with her desire to be there.  Grandma Shele stayed with her and Ben at the hospital.  

When we returned to the hospital, I listened to sweet Ben giggling in Grandma's arms and cooing for me to please nurse him!  And, then I listened to the chair rock back and forth as I nursed him to sleep in the quiet hallways at Doernbecher.   Eva had already fallen asleep  and JR waited with her in the car...she had such a magical time at the Lion King.  

But, perhaps the heaviest sound that fell on my ears that night were those of Tanner's cries and pleading for me to please just come home.  I can't describe what it is like to hear Grace say...mom please don't go.  Or Eva say, "mom you are going to come home now."  Or, Tanner tell me how much he HATES Cancer and wants me home with him.  It's the same if JR leaves...they just want him there.  One thing is for sure...being separated for any period of time is hard on our family.  But, we are unsure of how long that will be.  Grace's fever still stagnates. She feels awful.  

Hopefully soon...I'll listen to the sounds of giggling and talking as we're all at our home together again.  I'd even take hearing the sound of Eva and Grace arguing if it meant we were together!