chemo

Grace had chemo on Friday and today she is definately feeling it. The purple circles under her eyes told us she would be worn thin today. She did a wonderful job at chemo and actually had a good day on Friday. In the car on the way home she told me, "mom-I usually feel like junk when I leave chemo, but right now I'm feeling pretty good." Hard, yet optimistic words from a little six year old. Grace is remarkable. Sometimes we even forget what she's going through because we have larger windows of normalcy now. Of course, I swallow pretty hard when I watch the Vincristine go through the plastic tube straight into her little body. Sometimes chemo is more bearable than others. I am saying that. Isn't that ridiculous? Our little girl sits there getting unbelievably strong medicine and I sometimes feel like it's unbearable. This time just socked me in the gut. Katie, Grace's nurse told me our doctor would be longer than usual. He was meeting with a "new" family. I heard the mother in the hall. I heard her crying. Her voice haunted me all day. I don't know why it bothered me so much, but I can't stop thinking about them. I didn't even see their faces. I don't even know what her child has. I just know I can't stop thinking about them.

Grace's next round of chemo is on New Year's eve. I can think of softer ways to ring in the New Year...but I know Grace will do it with a smile.

Baby Ben and the family

We had a great Thanksgiving week with a new baby, and family. Ben is doing great and we feel so blessed because although he was very early there have been small and few complications. He is almost over his Jaundice and he has a rigourous eating schedule to make sure he is gaining weight, other than that he is a beautiful, healthy baby boy. Grace , Tanner, Eva, and Belles are adjusting well and are all very sweet and gentle around Ben.

Thank you Shele, Glen, Max, Sam, and Nick for all your help. 4 can be busy and we couldn't have done it without you. You all were so thoughtful and covered every detail to make our week amazing. We all miss you hope to see you soon. And thank you Shele for introducing us to one of our new favorite song, Fireflies.

Thank you Marelis and family for watching our kids so that we could run to the hospital and be there throughout the night and the next day.

BABY BENJAMIN NICHOLAS!!!!!!!!!

Baby Ben was born at 11:49am on November 20th. Exactly a month early, he weighed 6lbs, 7 oz and was 20 inches long. Baby and Mom are doing great and are expected to be coming home sometime Sunday. The kids are so excited to meet him, but unfortunately have not been able to come to the hospital due to new H1N1 inspired rules. They only know him by the videos and pictures brought home from the hospital. We were so disappointed that they have have to wait. Grandma Shele has been a great help and although the kids miss their Mom and brother, they are having a great time spending time with one of their favorite people. More pictures will be coming shortly. Kim did amazing and is recovering beautifully. We are so grateful that our boy is healthy and strong given the difficult and complicated pregnancy.

Grandpa Gill and GG Visit and updates

We have been lucky-is it obvious because each recent post speaks of visitors! GiGi and Grandpa Gill came into town to help out with my many doctors appointments, because we practically live at the doctos office these days. :-) It turns out I have a liver disorder induced by pregnancy, so our little guy will be induced on Dec. 6-in just 21 days! We can hardly believe it's that close. Gigi and Grandpa were able to visit Tanner's school for a really wonderful "writer's workshop." Tanner wrote a story about what he felt when Grace got sick. I, of course, bawled through the whole thing, but I was so impressed with his honesty and his raw emotion he let parade before his sixth grade classmates. He never ceases to amaze me with his bravery. If he allows us too, we'll post his writing, or the video of him orating his story.

Tanner is doing well in school-he just got the part of Lucentio in Taming on the Shrew, had some great basketball tryouts, and has been relishing in free moments to play army. Eva has a new found love of puzzles. She'll now sit and do them over and over (especially her snoopy one-as the picture shows). She also insists on carrying around a purse full of lipstuff and said she really needs a lipstick store. Grace is loving school, when she's well enough to go. Her teacher says she's very in charge and helpful and she loves math and art and is doing really well in Spanish and Chinese! I have been impressed by Grace. What she goes through, I don't think we'll ever fully understand, but she pushes on despite it. For example, Tanner expressed his sadness when he said that at school he often sees her in P.E. and as her class runs clear ahead of her, she still runs the laps she needs to-even if she lags behind. She gets so tired, but what's amazing is that she pushes on. Last night her tummy hurt a lot in the night and she was up early because he body got the shakes. It's like clockwork when she comes off her steroids. She was so sweet and tried to be calm about it, but as JR and I fed her to up her body sugar, we could see her hands just shaking as she held her glass of milk. She's truly good natured about it, though it's hard on her. But, the kids are good examples to us. They really highlight the need for joyfulness and the ability to still love life despite it's struggles.

HALLOWEEN AND THE MAKE A WISH AUCTION

We are a little behind on our posts, but we wanted to include a very special night. Grace got to give back to Make-a-wish by helping raise money. She sold golden tickets during the silent auction, displayed live auction items, and got to go up on stage and pick the winner of the ticket raffle. She was also featured on a slide show that played during dinner. She had such a great time picking out her dress, accessories, and shoes with Grandma and Grandpa and was amazing at the auction. When we got there all the volunteers and coordinators knew her name and greeted her and she was given a wand and a tiara. She worked the room like nobodies business and sold all the tickets available. It was so nice to see her smiling and meeting individuals who helped make her wish possible. What a great night and a better organization.