Summer 2010 Idaho/Utah Trip

Sorry for the long post, but a slideshow does not save right, and we are hopefully going to make this blog into a book for memories. Anyway, it was hard just widdling the photos down to these, we had so much fun and love being with all of our family and friends. Thank you for everything, as you can tell by the pictures there was rarely a moment where we were not smiling.

Dear Grace,

Dear Gracie Girl,
Two years ago today you became very sick. Life stopped, pain started, moments became monumental. Two years ago today, I cared a lot about different things, maybe even unimportant things. But, todayI feel different inside about life. We have you to thank for that. Thank you for helping us to see with fresher sets of eyes, more serviceable hands, and more charitable hearts. Thank you for helping us see God in all the little details, mundane and grand, and for helping us see the purest things in life. We are sorry that you ever have to hurt, Grace. We are sorry that you have had to learn to trust through such hard methods, that you know worries that are grown up ones, and that you often tell us you feel different from everybody else. But, Grace...one of the best things about you is that you are different in all the important ways. Two years ago, I"ll bet you didn't know how very strong you are-that you can do anything you set your mind to, and that you can do it kindly, meekly, and with fervor too. Two years ago we were a close family. Today, we are closer. Two years ago we hustled and bustled through life, checking off milestones-making sure deadlines were met. Today, we still celebrate milestones. But, the grandest milestones we ever meet are the tender little moments spent with you and your siblings. Thank you for making it possible for us to recognize that.
A little less than two years ago, I sat holding you as you slept-taking in the smell of you and trying to memorize the smell of your hair before it left your precious head. I remember how deeply your breath fell on the pillow and how pale your skin looked from the moonlight streaking in the window of my room. I remember pieces of hair falling easily from your head. I remember thinking that night that God couldn't take you from this world because you were too important a fixture in our lives and that I knew we wouldn't make it through that. Dad and I wouldn't take back one single second we are allowed with you, or any of our little ones. Each moment is a blessing-even and perhaps most especially the moment where you had a boy named A.J. over for a playdate and you told me you locked him in your closet so you could kiss him. My first thought after that was, "where was I" and my second was that you are bundles of fun and I can't wait to watch every moment of your life unfold.
Here we are today, Grace. We are two years into your fight against Cancer with just a few months to go. We hope so many things for you and your siblings, Gracie. I hope two years from now you still play Barbies. I hope two years from that time, you will not be begging me for a cell phone. I hope two years from that you see your teenage years begin with tons of energy and without the possiblity of Cancer relapse. I hope that with each successive year, you have all the happiness you deserve and most importantly that you never forget what you've been through. I hope it brings you more faith and a keener knowlege that God directs your life. I hope one day, you will be a mother and you will see just what it means to love you as much as I do-and as your daddy does.
We love you. Thank you for being brave these two years. You have taught us so much.
Love,
Mom and Dad

Where do I begin. First of all pictures on Blogger download opposite from how you upload them so as you read this post you are actually going back in time....

Anyway, our hearts and minds have been occupied lately as we heard last Friday that Gracie's Leukemia may have returned. This news was the product of Grace going into her normal Chemo visit and finding out that her Platelets were almost zero. Since that time Kim and I and many of our loved ones have been waiting to hear the results of her bone marrow test. As many of you know Grace had been in the hospital about 10 days before that with a viral and bacterial infection. In those 10 days her platelets had dropped to lower than they had ever been, she was bruising from head-to-toe, her energy and demeanor never recovered from the hospital and all the familiar signs of August 13, 2008 returned. The bone marrow test took place Wednesday of this week, but the results were not suppose to come until Friday. Yet, Thursday we were able to breathe a sigh of relief, our doctor knew that we could not wait any longer, and I am sure with some needed pressure by my wife, personally went to the lab and looked at the slide Thursday morning, calling us to say it did not look like Grace had any Cancer in her marrow. At this point we are not sure what has caused this and our speculation is that she has a tough virus in her system. We are ecstatic and so grateful, yet feel so vulnerable to the unknown. Who knows if Kim and I will ever be able to let our guard down in respects to the health of our Gracie. Since we did not tell our kids, and tried to keep our routine as normal as possible, our kids did not really understand why we were so excited to get a phone call on Thursday and we hope they will never know the feeling of waiting to hear if the battle we are fighting with cancer turns into be an all out war.

Enough of the bad stuff here are some pictures to catch you up to date on the happier times this last week.

Grace Turned 7 today and had a plan for all aspects of her day. We had asked her to tell us everything she wanted to do for her special day and thankfully she did not leave much for kim and I to improvise. She wanted a funfetti cake with white frosting, pink and green poka-dots, purple writing , and reds hearts, she wanted bacon, and crepes with nutella and raspberries for breakfast, she wanted to go see Toy Story 3 and she wanted to eat dinner at Olive Garden, so that is pretty much what we did. She had a great birthday , but could not keep up energy wise. Many times she retired herself to our couch or even her bed to regain her energy.

We love what a strong, confident young girl she is. She has taught us so much and continues to teach us just how grateful we should be for the day-to-day. She has an amazing pain threshold and is extremely positive and optimistic about everything. Grace we love you with all our hearts and are so glad we got to spend a semi-normal birthday with you.

Ben is just such a joyful and laid back soul, he rarely cries other than when hungry or tired and loves his siblings. Just the sound of their voices make him giggle

We finally got to use our new lemonade stand we built and in two days the kids made a good amount of money to donate to Doernbecher. Who wouldn't stop for these super-stars as they yelled at every car that passed saying "Lemonade" or as they would wave and point to the sign. Of course we couldn't have just regular lemonade so we made fresh raspberry lemonade since earlier that week the kids had picked 21 pounds of raspberries on Sauvy Island. Tanner was helping us but of course escaped getting hip picture taken.

We also wanted to add to Eva's birthday post. We were rushed and did not get a chance to add the characteristics that make our Eva amazing. Eva is honest to a fault and cheerful. She holds too much love for her little body and at the same time is precocious as ever. She is a beautiful dancer and a great dresser. She has great taste is sushi and swimsuits and loves to go to Ballet. One of the most amazing things about Eva is that she is empathetic, she is always making sure her siblings are okay, which is a tall order for this scrawny 3 year old, but she does a great job. Eva we can't wait to see what these years hold for you.

Good Things to Come

This message, from a member of our church has really brought JR and I peace in difficult times. Even if you do not share our direct believes, I hope you will find peace in the concept that life is meant to be joyful and if we hold on through the rough patches, it will be ok.

Look out Twilight lovers...

There's a new Vamp in town...by the name of Ben. We just crack up that he got his incisors before his two front teeth. He's such a mild mannered baby, too that it gives him some street credibility as a tougher dude.