Tanner the writer

Tanner has always impressed us, his parents, with his love of writing and the creativity he puts on the page. We thought it would be nice to share some of his recent poems. We will ask him for his permission when he wakes.

THE DETECTIVE

This detective has a serious face,
and a wrinkly overcoat tied up with lace.

He has a slanted brown top hat
and gets stuck in the middle of physical contact.

The policemen adore him, and timetaking things bore him,
and that is the brave detective.

ANACONDA/ROPE

It's body is sleek and slender,
if you pull it, it is very tender.

That's something you don't want to do ,
for then it will strike at you.

Sometimes it is tan,
and othertimes grey,
so sit down and pray,
that it won't wrap around you.

You can use it to swing,
but joy it won't bring,
for that will be the end of you

Getting ready for Christmas!

We LOVE Christmas time...and we have had fun preparing for it. The kids always love our night of setting up the tree and decorations and then fine dining on milk and cookies!

Have to give thanks...

Our family has a lot to be grateful for. We have found blessings in abundance, even admist hardship. We have seen miracles and endless acts of kindness. This Thanksgiving we were able to be with some of the people we love (Shele, Glen, Sam, Max, Nick) and we are grateful because it meant the world to us!

Be Thankful

Be thankful that you don't already have everything you desire, If you did, what would there be to look forward to? Be thankful when you don't know something For it gives you the opportunity to learn. Be thankful for the difficult times. During those times you grow. Be thankful for your limitations Because they give you opportunities for improvement. Be thankful for each new challenge Because it will build your strength and character. Be thankful for your mistakes They will teach you valuable lessons. Be thankful when you're tired and weary Because it means you've made a difference. It is easy to be thankful for the good things. A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are also thankful for the setbacks. GRATITUDE can turn a negative into a positive. Find a way to be thankful for your troubles and they can become your blessings.~ Author Unknown ~

Chemo today...

Grace had her last round of Interim Maintenance today and received two forms of chemo. She has done really well today ( she has some really fun visitors to distract her)! Grace begins her hardest round of chemo yet (Delayed intensification) in 18 days. She will lose her hair, so we're told, she will more than likely feel pretty yucky, so we're gearing up for the second week in December and hoping she'll feel alright through Christmas. Wish us luck...and say hoorah for an 18 day break from chemo!

Rambling thoughts..........

We consider this blog a journal of sorts, or maybe a way to preserve the raw feelings that accompany our experience with Gracie's Cancer. I'm hoping one day we'll look back and be grateful we monitored the moments. Otherwise, we might believe it never REALLY happened. It feels that way sometimes...raw, and unreal, and far to fresh to fully be absorbed into reality. But, I think that the good thing about life is it's more black and white than it appears...you're either in that boat or your not, you either sink or swim, you either are or you are not. A few things I know: our daughter has Cancer. I know it is harder than I ever could have imagined, and yet somehow it has already been three months. I think we are actually living through this ( oh wait, yeah...I just pinched myself) This is real. I know that we have never had a feeling like we had when the doctor's told us Grace was sick. I know that life already felt like it was moving quickly with three children growing so fast. But, now...well...how to describe it except to say I feel like we're frozen in this very unfamiliar existence and we watch as the world just spins crazily all around us. It is hard to forfeit all control to circumstances so far beyond us. We felt this tonight. Grace had a spinal tap headache all through the night last night and all day today. She cried in pain...actually that is inaccurate...she screamed out in absolute pain. When they puncture her spinal column to give her Methotrexate, it disrupts the fibers in the spinal column and creates a little gap where spinal fluid can leak out, causing the balance of fluid to be off. All the reading I've done explains that it is the "headache of all headaches." Poor Gracie just wailed in pain, and all we could even do is hold her. She kept saying, "please just make it stop! When will it stop?" Our hearts just ached for her. She got to a point where we just laid by her in a dark room and she couldn't speak because it hurt too much. She asked her daddy for a blessing, which he lovingly gave. JR's voice is always so comforting. I see how it calms our children and makes everyone feel so safe. She was able to doze off and her spinal headache finally subsided.
Now, it is not that we like to share the harder side of Grace's experience. But, we hope to someday look back on this "journaling" and tell Grace a few things we knew for certain amongst all the things we couldn't understand. We know that Grace is unusually strong for someone her age. We know she has a kind spirit and worries about everyone else even while facing something so hard. We know that even when she spent the whole day crying in pain...she always smiled when Tanner or Eva came in the room. We know that there is power in prayer. We know that Grace has faith. We know that we are grateful she is surrounded by Tanner and Eva-two of the sweetest kids I know. We know that we have seen so much good in people and so many people doing so many wonderful things for us-we can't even begin to explain it. We know that somehow we will get through this...and perhaps gain a few things worth journaling about!