Merry Christmas to you!

Each Christmas we relish in the fun things of the season. We love the sights, smells, excitement and love the holiday brings. But, this season...the feelings are stronger. Our love is deeper, each time we hug and tuck our little ones in at night...we hang on a little longer. And, this Christmas we are so thankful we got to be at home and not at the hospital! We got the best gift ever possible. Grace felt well and hung on until...well...what you see in the picture (and then got WAY too tired). Tanner, Grace, and Eva really loved their Christmas!
We would be remiss if we didn't express our thanks for ALL that has been done for our family! There have been so many people who have blessed our lives and who have demonstrated the good, compassion, and love that this world offers. It is you, all of you, who have taught our children what service is and how to bring peace and comfort in a time of turmoil. We are so grateful! You have changed our lives and our experience through your goodness. And, hopefully not being too candid here, I have to say that we are so grateful to our Heavenly Father. We have really had a divine hand looking out for us. On this Christmas day, we want to express how grateful we are for the greatest gift that humanity has known, the birth of Jesus Christ. And, perhaps more miraculously-the way that His life was spent and the purpose for which He came. We are grateful that because of his life and sacrifice we can be together forever and that Grace, nor any of us, ever have to wander this world aimlessly or alone. Tonight, I've been thinking of what Mary must have felt as she swadled her little child, knowing his life's course. I also have felt more tender towards Joseph, knowing in his arms was the Savior of the world, and the responsiblities he must have felt to raise him well and keep him safe. JR and I are so blessed to have three children. And, we are so blessed that we can walk hand in hand with them through the good and the bad.

The Novelty of snow....

Is wearing off! It's so fun to have snow here, being from Utah and all. But, I must say...when you are completely snowed in and can't back out of your driveway...and yet the doctor says find a way and bring her to chemo-the snow presents a challenge. Thankfully, the Sands were gracious enough to drive JR, Tanner, and Grace to her chemo appointment. The hill to the hospital was closed-so they took the tram. That was a really fun part of the experience! Despite how nervous Grace gets for her appointments, she did very well and is brave as always. She is actually feeling pretty well tonight (it usually hits her a day or two later). This is her second dose of Doxorubicin, so we are just literally on pins and needles for when her hair is going to fall out. We just don't have any clue when or how it will happen...so we wait and hope to help as best we can. Overall, we feel really blessed that with just a few days until Christmas she is doing as well as she is. And, we have to admit...it's nice to be snowed in-it let's us focus on being together and what is the most important to us.

Still more snow mixed with freezing rain..

Freezing rain makes for strong snow fort walls.

Still snowing into the night...

WE ARE AT ABOUT 7 INCHES OF GREAT POWDERTHE KIDS (yes that includes Belles) LOVED PLAYING IN THE SNOW....

AND THEN THEY FOUND A WAY TO STAY WARM.

Delayed Intensification

Grace started Delayed Intensification on Tuesday. But, there was nothing delayed about our intense feelings. We have worried, been warned about, and prepared for this phase of her chemo for a while now. We know this will be eight difficult weeks for Grace in so many ways. From hair loss to steroid effects, it's just hard on such a tiny body.
Grace had a spinal tap on Tuesday and received intrathecal methotrexate. Fortunately, they listened to me this time when I was absolutely persistent that they use the Whitaker needle-it is smaller, and makes it less likely that she'll get her awful spinal tap headaches. The headaches usually hit about 3-5 days after the spinal tap, so we'll cross our fingers that it worked! The spinal taps are hard on her, and we know that the chemo there causes brain damage, however to what extent, we won't know until after chemo is done in two and a half more years. She also received vincrinstine through her port and a new chemo she's never had-Doxorubicin. Tuesday, she was exhausted and hurting. Wednesday she was achey and vomiting often. But, thankfully, today she had more energy and didn't vomit. We kept right on top of the nausea medicine so she wouldn't feel the effects. She actually did a dance off today and at moments felt ok. She is one tough little lady-always focusing on the good and wanting to have fun, despite the war that wages on inside of her. We are really proud of her, and grateful that her medicine is working. We are proud of how compassionate and understanding Tanner is and grateful that Eva is so fun loving and happy.
Grace goes back to the hospital tomorrow morning for chemo shots and then returns again on Tuesday for more chemo. She's a precious child, and it's hard to see her suffer. One thought keeps returning to my mind this week-why??? I don't know...it just keeps replaying in my head. "It is far better to light one candle then to curse the darkness."