Today...I felt sad. Today, I hated Cancer. Today, Grace would hardly leave the bed...kept vomiting....could not stop her horrific headache...today she gave up talking because it took too much energy. Instead, we used numbers on our hands to signal what she needed. Today, strong painkiller didn't touch the pain in her head or the site of her spinal taps. Today is exactly 7 days from her last dose of chemo and exactly 3 days from the next higher dose. I wonder what the day will look like in 3 more days? Today, Eva wanted me, but Grace was throwing up and I had to keep saying, "please wait Eva...I promise I'm coming." Today, the school sent home its weekly flier with news and updates. It stated the date of Kindergarten graduation, but Grace most likely won't be attending it. We've been working to get her back into school. Last night I hopefully laid her school uniform out fresh and ready for today. But, today was-well-exactly as I described, and I put it back in the closet for another day. I'm hoping to pull it out again soon, perhaps when Grace feels stronger.Monday, March 30, 2009
Today...
Today...I felt sad. Today, I hated Cancer. Today, Grace would hardly leave the bed...kept vomiting....could not stop her horrific headache...today she gave up talking because it took too much energy. Instead, we used numbers on our hands to signal what she needed. Today, strong painkiller didn't touch the pain in her head or the site of her spinal taps. Today is exactly 7 days from her last dose of chemo and exactly 3 days from the next higher dose. I wonder what the day will look like in 3 more days? Today, Eva wanted me, but Grace was throwing up and I had to keep saying, "please wait Eva...I promise I'm coming." Today, the school sent home its weekly flier with news and updates. It stated the date of Kindergarten graduation, but Grace most likely won't be attending it. We've been working to get her back into school. Last night I hopefully laid her school uniform out fresh and ready for today. But, today was-well-exactly as I described, and I put it back in the closet for another day. I'm hoping to pull it out again soon, perhaps when Grace feels stronger.
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14 comments:
cancer just sucks. period. but grace is making it, beating it, surviving it...we are so blessed to have her as a presence in our world. we love you so deeply gracie.
I am so sorry for the day you and Grace are having. I wish I could say there won't be more of those days, but we both know better then that. I thought maintenance was suppose to be easier? I guess nothing about cancer is ever actually easy. I hope she sleeps good tonight and feels better tomorrow. We just had a spinal tap today, but luckily that is one thing that Avarie usually handles well. What kinds of antinausea drugs do they give you? We use Zofran, Adivan, Benadryl, and Reglan, if you don't have or use one of those I would talk with you Dr's about maybe getting them. We still have a lot of throwing up too, but those meds sure help a lot. I've got a huge supply, I'll run some down to you if you need.
So sorry to hear about your day. I hope things look better for tomorrow. Please call if you need anything. Im off at 2:00 on Wed. if you need me to pick up Tanner.
Please call or facebook or email me.
Oh Kim, I'm so sorry to hear about your day. It must be so incredibly hard to see your baby that way. We love you guys and will be dropping off a little "cheer" tomorrow. Loves Gracie!!
Emily and McKenna
Grandma Josi sends her love and patience... this to shall pass and the sun will rise another day. Hang in there Grace and family.
Love, Grandma Josi
I'm so sorry!! I feel so bad. Hey but I don't know if you've ever heard of acupuncture or anything. I don't know how old you need to be or anything, but I've heard of cancer patients using it for being nauseous. I'm SO SO sorry!!
Good luck my dear.
Praying that the sun will come out tomorrow for grace, you, and the family. Sorry to hear that today was so hard. What can I do?
I hate cancer! I hate that it is happening to you, and GOOD people! why won't it happen to the thugs? The bullies, or the real mean people that are out there. Poor Grace is strong, and you... you are there, right by her side, being a good mom to ALL of your kids. Kindergarten is silly ...so, by next year, she'll be really ready to start school and show off her beautiful NEW self. Hang in there. 7 days... I'll be praying as things might get worse and as they get better. Much much love!!!
This breaks my heart. Today I am just grateful that G has YOU for a mommy, JR for a daddy, the BEST big brother that exists, and a sweet, happy baby sis! I hope that her pain subsides soon. I hope that she springs back like she usually does and that her sweet voice fills your home again QUICKLY. We miss you!
I am sorry to hear about the difficult struggles you are facing, I hope things improve so that day ten will be tolerable. Much love and prayers!
I am so sorry Kim, I don't even know what to say or how in the world to comfort you and Grace and your sweet family. Just hang in there and know that there are so many people praying for you all everyday. We love you with every ounce of our hearts!!!
Sorry to hear about your rough day. I cannot imagine what that little body is experiencing. We hope the rest of the week is better. You'll be in our thoughts and prayers!
Kim,
I am sure those kind of days make you realize that you really are in the trenches! Hang in there. We all love you so much.
Oh Kim, I'm in tears for you. I hope there won't be many more days like this and that the next round of Chemo is easier. It's crazy that kids have to endure this stuff. It helps to think of the Savior sitting on that couch next to Grace and Tanner, doing what he can to sooth her. Grace is truly amazing and you are too. I don;t know if I could handle all of this with as much grace and perspective as you and your family have. Tell grace she's beautiful! Your in our praters.
A
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