Alexandra Ellis Caring Cabin

Over the Fourth of July, our family was fortunate enough to stay at the Caring Cabin in Pacific City. A precious little girl named Alexandra Ellis lost her battle with Cancer and out of her family's pain an idea was born. Her parents wanted a haven from the needles, the pains, the worries, the hardship of chemo treatments for other families. Countless volunteers and donors raised millions of dollars to build a little haven nestled in the woods on 24 acres of gorgeous land, all for the relief and enjoyment of families helping a loved one through treatment. We can't explain what this trip meant to us. Maybe we can't even really explain what this year has been like. Sometimes it still feels like a dream, and days such as today-when Grace woke up this morning, went back to bed, went to church, fell asleep at church and was worn out all day-we acknowledge this is HARD on her tiny body. It's not that we haven't had our moments of despair-there have been plenty, but sometimes when you're in the thick of it, you can't take time to mourn it just yet. Believe me, more than a few books about Cancer have been thrown at the wall when I'm on my own and my sweet husband...well-he's not the same man I knew on Aug. 13 of last year. None of us are the same. We won't ever be. Maybe this was why the Caring Cabin was so important for our family. It was like a safe place to really be ok with being apart of the Cancer family and to let our emotions just hang out there. Tanner was really candid about his feelings, Grace couldn't believe how many stones adorned the pathway to the lake-each one carved with the name of a child battling Cancer. And, Eva has had to learn to find happiness wherever she goes, because sometimes life was too hard to provide fun for her (but it has served her well). The cabin was incredible. JR and I got to play with the kids nonstop, and we all laughed and had such a good time. It felt really good to laugh so unguardedly. And, it was ok to cry, too; which we all did at one point or another. Of course, Eva's tears were more on smores night when she found we'd run out of chocolate than they were for Cancer. So sad. So true. And, Grace-when it came time to leave couldn't utter the words, so tears just streamed down her precious little cheeks. Thank you, Heavenly Father for allowing the human spirit to not feel such pain without finding happiness that equals it.