Dear Grace,

Did you know that when you were born, there were fireworks? Literally! There were fireworks! You were born on a Utah holiday- a day which celebrates Pioneers and their faith, fortitude, and ability to overcome great hardships. How appropriate, don't you think? Mom and dad have felt fireworks with each of your milestones-your first smile, first words, the first time you turned your head and batted your long, dark eyelashes and made dad give in, the first time you sang in primary, the first time you overcame your fear of needles (or rather just learned to cope), the first time you walked into the hospital on your own two feet instead of me carrying you. Yours is not a typical life, Grace. But, that just means your destined to grand things!

Yesterday you hit a milestone! You've struggled so much-too much to explain, but there is light at the end of this dreary tunnel. You have made it through Interim Maintenance, and in two weeks you begin Maintenance with a spinal tap and chemo. Wow! You have made it through 8 months of the most taxing ordeal I can imagine for a precious, tiny child and through it all Grace you have been tender and you have smiled. Even in the hardest moments, Grace, you have smiled. That is quite a testament to who you are. When we visited the hospital for chemo yesterday you were gleeful at the news that you'll now only have to visit the hospital once a month for chemo, instead of weekly, and have spinal taps only every three months. We will give you three chemos and other medicine from home nightly for two years, but I think these next two years will be easier on your body than the pain you have known. Your blood counts were higher than they have been in 8 months, also-at a very high 9.7!!! I can't even tell you how grand the fireworks were in our eyes yesterday Grace! We are so proud of all you've accomplished in the last 8 months.
Mom and Dad hope you can take all you've learned (and all that you will learn in the next two years of fighting Cancer) and live a greater life, for the experience. It is our hope that you will continue to smile, because life is good, despite the challenges. Our friend, Stacy sent me this quote-I love it! "We sometimes see subtractions when we're ill. They're not just subtractions. I'm not me minus anything; I'm me plus this experience. Whether it's good or bad is a subjective thing."
You are infinitely strong, little Grace. Remember God. Remember He has walked with you. Remember you were never, are never alone. Remember love. It is everything. Remember one of our favorites:
"Be still, my soul; the Lord is on thy side; Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain; Leave to thy God to order and provide; In every change He faithful will remain. Be still, my soul; thy best, thy heavenly friend, through thorny ways leads to a joyful end."
We love you! Love,
Mom and Dad

Holy battle wounds!

Grace made me promise that I would display her Cancer battle wounds...hence, the fierce bruises that are a result of low platelets. It got me thinking... most the doctors compare this experience with Cancer to a marathon. I'm going to go ahead and veto that, and say it's more like a war! If you read the post below, you'll know some days feel quite like we're in the trenches. But, I think Grace, with her unique strength would be a fantastic Captain! She got through her 48 hour spinal tap headache and though her tiny body is wiped out, she pushes forward.

Tanner, her finest soldier, undoubtedly wears the brow of a boy who has seen too much. He is ten, but in his expression is worry that cannot hide. And, Eva-well she's more like the drummer that makes the battle sort of interesting and poetic. She just smiles and happily jumps into life like it's bliss!

So though the past few days were quite the battle, and there are no guarantees about what tomorrow brings, I'm glad we have today. Because today we are ok-in large part due to friends who helped us out today!

Today...

Today...I felt sad. Today, I hated Cancer. Today, Grace would hardly leave the bed...kept vomiting....could not stop her horrific headache...today she gave up talking because it took too much energy. Instead, we used numbers on our hands to signal what she needed. Today, strong painkiller didn't touch the pain in her head or the site of her spinal taps. Today is exactly 7 days from her last dose of chemo and exactly 3 days from the next higher dose. I wonder what the day will look like in 3 more days? Today, Eva wanted me, but Grace was throwing up and I had to keep saying, "please wait Eva...I promise I'm coming." Today, the school sent home its weekly flier with news and updates. It stated the date of Kindergarten graduation, but Grace most likely won't be attending it. We've been working to get her back into school. Last night I hopefully laid her school uniform out fresh and ready for today. But, today was-well-exactly as I described, and I put it back in the closet for another day. I'm hoping to pull it out again soon, perhaps when Grace feels stronger.

Grace

Eva playing

Our household has been struggling with the flu (except for Grace), but we wanted to update everyone as to what has been going on. Tanner just finished basketball and is about to start baseball and soccer. Grace has been doing well and decided she wanted to make dessert tonight. It was a delicious frozen masterpiece using strawberries, blueberries, and mandarin oranges. Grace and I also had the privilege of going to the Nike employee store, which was a lot of fun. This is a video of Eva we took tonight. She is so much fun and such a character. At one point she pauses thinking that I am going to take a picture since the video is shot with our digital camera. The shoes she proudly wears in the video are still on her since she refused to take them off and when we put her PJs on she insisted that she wear them over her footed PJs.

We have been dragging our heels to post based on the fact that we would like to still help Avarie and the Giles family. We have received a lot of help, but would love to continue. See below for more info.